Short Story Sunday: Always Watching Herself

Nia felt like she was constantly being observed.

Not in a dramatic way, but in the quiet, exhausting way that made her second guess everything. The way she walked into a room. The way she laughed. The way she spoke, or chose not to speak at all. Before she did anything, she imagined how it might look to someone else.

At school, Nia was careful.

She chose her words slowly, editing herself before anyone else could. She avoided answering questions unless she was absolutely sure. She preferred sitting near the edges of rooms, where attention was less likely to land on her unexpectedly.

Being noticed felt dangerous.

It was not that Nia thought people were unkind. She simply believed they were watching, evaluating, forming opinions she would never get to correct. The idea of being misunderstood scared her more than being invisible.

So she learned how to stay neutral.

She wore clothes that blended in. She laughed softly. She agreed easily. When group projects came up, she let others take the lead. If her ideas were different, she kept them to herself. It felt safer to go along than to stand out.

Inside, though, she felt restless.

Nia had opinions. She noticed things others missed. She wanted to contribute. But every time she imagined speaking up, her mind rushed ahead to possible outcomes. What if they laughed? What if she sounded foolish? What if they remembered that moment forever?

The fear was constant.

It followed her into conversations, presentations, even casual interactions. She replayed moments long after they ended, analyzing every word and gesture. The fear of judgment did not need an audience. It lived comfortably inside her own thoughts.

One day, something shifted.

Nia listened as someone spoke honestly about judgment. Not about avoiding it, but about surviving it. They talked about moments when they had been judged, misunderstood, or criticized, and how those moments had not destroyed them the way they once feared.

That idea stayed with Nia.

She realized she had been living as if judgment were a permanent label, instead of a passing opinion. She had been protecting herself from a future moment that might never come.

The next opportunity to speak up came unexpectedly.

Her heart raced as usual. Her thoughts crowded her mind. She felt the familiar urge to stay quiet.

This time, she didn’t.

Her voice was softer than she wanted it to be. She paused once, unsure of her words. But she finished what she started.

The room moved on.

No laughter. No pointing. No lasting attention.

Later, she realized something important. Most people were far more focused on themselves than on judging her.

That realization felt freeing.

Nia began testing her fear gently. She shared an idea here. Asked a question there. Sometimes she was confident. Sometimes she wasn’t. But each time, she proved to herself that she could handle being seen.

The fear did not disappear.

But it loosened its grip.

Nia learned that being judged is uncomfortable, but it is not unbearable. That staying silent to avoid judgment costs more than risking it.

And slowly, she began choosing honesty over fear.

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Reflection Questions:

1. In what situations do you worry most about being judged?

2. How does fear of judgment affect your choices?

3. What thoughts go through your mind when you consider speaking up?

4. Have you ever avoided something because of what others might think?

5. What might change if fear had less control over you?

Youth are encouraged to share their reflections by emailing MyStory@3JYouth.org